Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Talk To Me



Somewhere above the eyes between the wrinkles in my forehead reads a sign that apparently says "Talk To Me". Seemingly random strangers begin conversations with me and impart information that would be best left to their therapists. I am not a therapist nor do I play one in the theatre or on television. I must have the "look" that says you can tell me your deepest, darkest secrets, I do not mind and I have all day! Generally this occurs at gas stations, restaurants and grocery stores. Grocery Store lines are the preeminent place to collect nuts. Being a genteel Southern Belle it is very difficult to extract oneself from these tricky situations. I am offering this bit of advice, DO NOT MAKE EYE CONTACT. Go about your business, do not look left or right, absolutely under no circumstances are you to look behind you. This is a sure signal that you are interested and will stay until the clerk starts clearing her throat or you look to the clerk for rescue. A sure way to start a conversation in the grocery store line is to purchase "unusual" vegetables even the check out folks do not recognize such as daikon, leeks, rutabagas and parsnips. I love to talk to people, really I do, however in the grocery store before dinner and after work is not my favorite time to be cordial. I want to get in and out as quickly as possible. Due to the exorbitant cost of gasoline...gas station conversations are almost impossible to avoid. It is a quick segue from "wow, these gas prices are killer" to "yep, I've had to give up my mani and pedi" or "looks like I'm having beans and rice for supper again." Here again, the key is to not make eye contact unless you have all the time in the world. I frequently talk about strangers being friends we haven't met yet and while this is true...every stranger is not your friend nor would you want them to be. I am sure a serial killer somewhere is waiting for me to make eye contact. Due to the eclectic nature of my reading habits I have encountered some very unusual people in the bookstores. My advice here would be to quickly shift your eyes from right to left and look over your shoulder alot, this discourages quite a few interested parties from extensive conversation. Of course, there is the option of talking to oneself....and answering. Works every time.

DISCLAIMER: The author of this post claims no responsibility for advice given at this location. She is also very talkative herself so much of this advice can totally be disregarded.

How about you? Are you a magnet for conversation wanted or otherwise?

5 comments:

Hayden Tompkins said...

HAHAHA, I now have a solid group of 'friends' at the Border's that I go to. The ladies who work there, then the customers, decided that they wanted my time and attention.

Customers have asked me to help them with their resumes, watch their belongings for a second while they run to the bathroom, and assist with their homework assignments.

connie said...

Hayden, maybe you could set up a table and solicit donations LOL!

scchesleys said...

I'm one of those people that don't make eye contact most times although it has been known to happen. As long as you don't try to strike up a conversation in the bathroom, I'll be the genteel southern belle that I usually am. Bathroom talk is strictly prohibited!

Laresa said...

I love your POST!
I always think that I have something written on my forehead. Like "please tell me all of your problems." I have had a many of weird conversation with strangers and just people I kind of know. Last year I went on a field trip with Samuel's class and his teacher was confessing all this stuff to me. I was a little taken back but then I realized I guess my sign on the forehead really says "Please vent to me today and get things off your shoulders, and it will just be between us."

Rosezilla said...

Yeah, I get that a lot. Usually I don't mind, but it does tend to happen at some really inopportune moments! (Oh, by the way, I was wondering if the tennis ball "cure" helped your foot pain any?)