Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Hey Lady What's in Yer Purse?

As I am driving to work and yet another lovely individual does something ridiculous and I must slam on brakes...the contents of my purse fall out all over the floor. This reminds me that I despise all purses and despise the fact that I am a slave to said purse. Gentle readers, I am a touch OCD (just ask my children) and AADD (adult attention deficit disorderly ) or CRS (can't remember stuff) and I suffer from an overactive bladder! I know too much information and what might this have to do with purses you might ask. I need a purse I can live with that does not cause irreparable damage to my back, arms and shoulders. So shopping for the ideal purse is an interesting endeavor in the land in which my mind resides. First, I immediately have to go to the restroom which I abhor public restrooms and what do you do with your purse in the stall? Of course, the restrooms are as far in the back of the store as you can get and still be in the store thus causing one to look at the dazzling array of goodies on the way, those retailers and marketers are not dummies! Oh yeah, I was shopping for a purse not shoes, not sweaters...back to the task at hand. Have you ever picked up one of the designer bags with all the hardware and dangly things? Those things weigh a ton, which if you can afford them, you can probably afford someone to carry it for you. I can go to TJMaxx and immediately fall in love with the most expensive handbag they have in the store. I don't have to see the price I just hone in on the most expensive one. I am entirely too fickle to spend over $100 on a purse! If I could find the perfect purse, I would buy it in every color and carry them the rest of my life. Since my needs change it doesn't exist and you don't know you will hate a purse until you take it home, load it up and schlep it around. I am reminded of a ball and chain.

My DFK (kristi) does not carry a purse if she can help it. On a recent excursion she borrowed her daughter's purse and was rushing around looking for things to put in it. Looking for things to put in have got to be kidding me!!! Did I mention I am a slave to my purse I want it with me ALWAYS! I like a purse that holds my wallet (a purse by itself) 14 tubes of lipstick and gloss, comb, 10 pairs of eyeglasses, sunglasses, tissues, tide to go pen (because I'm messy everything lands on my boobs), ink pens, sketchbook or journal, addresses/datebook (because I am an old fashioned technophobe) camera, water bottle, keys (mine, mom's, in-laws, work etc.), my handy dandy pocket knife with many wonderful attachments (don't ask) cell phone, reading material and hair clips/scrunchies, gum or mints...sometimes husband's wallet or something that will entertain the grandchildren.

I surely would have won the "Let's Make a Deal" purse plunder. Where the emcee says I'll give you $$$ for a .........wait, yes I have one! I recently dumped all of my purses, well most of them on the floor and decided there was something uncomfortable or unwieldy or just something wrong with each and every one of them...I have already given several I am thinking of eliminating all of them and starting over! Hey Dishy, want a purse or anyone else for that matter! You may not want the GINORMOUS one with my initials on it...this was yet another brilliant idea whereby I would put my laptop and purse contents in one was a miserable laptop was too big, everything else fell to the bottom of the cavernous bag...

My daughter bought me this adorable soft as a baby's bum leather purse to carry to NYC for the evenings on the is so tiny! I don't think it really qualifies as a purse it's more like a big wallet with a handle.
I've laid bare my soul within the contents of my purse. There must be some serious psychological explanation as to why some women carry so much stuff or obsess over their purses. Thank goodness I don't carry a diaper bag anymore...I saw a first time mother at the grocery store yesterday and I swear she was carrying the house in that diaper bag and her husband had to carry the baby...I wonder what she thought would happen in that store with a baby and less stuff? I feel your pain sistah, truly I do. So what's in your bag?


Ruth Hull Chatlien said...

I would love to be able to carry a small purse, but in addition to all the normal purse stuff, I have to carry my inhaler and breath tester. I used to lug around two epi-pens too (adrenaline for anaphylactic shock), but my allergist recently liberated me from that. Sigh. Anyway, I buy a purse about once every three years and then I wear it to tatters because, like you, I find it difficult to find one I like.

Cindy said...

I love this post....It fits me to a T....I have the worst time finding the perfect purse and just like you I can go in TJMaxx any day of the week and my eye is instantly drawn to the most expensive one. I to am a slave to my purse. I have to have one, A BIG ONE! I did find a great, perfect sized bag in NY and Company just yesterday for a very reasonable price, but it took me three stinkin months of searching!!! LOL

healingspaces said...

I am seriously glad I did not inherit the purse gene from my mother! I generally have just a wallet...and often go out with just a debit & credit card, driver's license and cash in my pocket. I have two small purses that I've had for years but which spend 90% of the time hanging in my closet...

As a kid, however, on several occasions I was attacked by the twisted, tangled mob of purses in my mother's closet...perhaps this is what killed my purse gene?

shula said...

It took me ten years to find the right handbag. Eventually one night, I saw it in a movie. I jumped online and had found the exact one in the UK ten minutes later.

It's a carpet bag. The size of something a horse might feed out of.

Nothing ever falls out. You can fit the whole world in there. And it stands up by itself so you can find things.

My life changed forever.

I love it more than my life.

persistentillusion said...

I just carry a briefcase. It's easier that way and I have everything I could ever need with me, because I, too, am OCD and have CRS. (Not so much with the ADHD.)

But I am a sucker for a sassy purse on a date! Bright pink or retro or a giant buckle - that's all me!

scchesleys said...

Yes, I had to look for things to put in the purse! Even then it wasn't 1/3 full. I love to look at purses but can't seem to make myself actually use one. What do you need besides debit card, drivers license, car keys and cell phone? :-)

thedailydish said...

HAHAHHAHAHAHHHHH!@! Oh connie, i am HONORED. Feel free to just mail me ALLL you are discarding - I will put them to good use!!! HAHAHHAHAHH!

Seriously though - I am purse picky. I have a gorgeous Coach bag for instance I rec'd from my mom - it is so nice, I never use it. I'm afraid it's going to get ruined. So it only makes the rotation like 2 wks a year.

The beautiful suede sac I used last year I LOVE, but I cannot find a single dry cleaner willing to clean it. So I can't even use the ting this year b/c it's so filthy!

Right now I'm using a too tiny bag my sister gave me. I love it - really soft black leather, brown turtleshell strap, but it's short and way too small. I have several cloth bags that i LOVE, but they aren't substantial enough for winter.. PURSES> The never-ending QUEST!

Anita said...

This is hilarious - and it makes me miss you so much! You are just one of those people that add humor to my life :) Love you!

marlajayne said...

My mother was such a great lady...she really was. Whenever she changed shoes, she changed pocketbooks. However, her daughters didn't inherit that proclivity (hope that's the word I'm looking for), and she finally gave up on us. My sister and I are both into practicality; however, lately my daughter Elizabeth has been trying to push me out of my constant use of black midsize bags, and I'm now the proud owner of a big golden yellow bag that can hold books as well as all the other essentials. Oh, and let's not forget the giraffe purse from Karma's in Myrtle Beach.

Rosezilla said...

Oh, yay, purses, I like them ever so much better than shoes! My favorite is the red one my hubby got me, I get sooooo many compliments on it, but it's big and I put so much in it that I can't ever find the thing I want. Which has its uses, since no one expects me to pay for anything, or unlock the door, or anything, lol! Come to think of it, my second favorite purse is a sky blue one with bamboo handles and little embroidered pineapples all over it, and my hubby got me that one too, on our 25th anniversary trip! My hubby has good taste in purses... but he won't ever, ever hold mine, or even "purse-sit" for me, he's waaaayyyyy too manly and cool for that!

Rosezilla said...

Hey, Cyber-Sis, wouldn't that be cool to take a road trip to see blogger friends! Sounds like a high school fantasy my friends and i had. We're beginning to think we'll have to settle for adjoining beds in the nursing home!

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