As I am driving to work and yet another lovely individual does something ridiculous and I must slam on brakes...the contents of my purse fall out all over the floor. This reminds me that I despise all purses and despise the fact that I am a slave to said purse. Gentle readers, I am a touch OCD (just ask my children) and AADD (adult attention deficit disorderly ) or CRS (can't remember stuff) and I suffer from an overactive bladder! I know too much information and what might this have to do with purses you might ask. I need a purse I can live with that does not cause irreparable damage to my back, arms and shoulders. So shopping for the ideal purse is an interesting endeavor in the land in which my mind resides. First, I immediately have to go to the restroom which I abhor public restrooms and what do you do with your purse in the stall? Of course, the restrooms are as far in the back of the store as you can get and still be in the store thus causing one to look at the dazzling array of goodies on the way, those retailers and marketers are not dummies! Oh yeah, I was shopping for a purse not shoes, not sweaters...back to the task at hand. Have you ever picked up one of the designer bags with all the hardware and dangly things? Those things weigh a ton, which if you can afford them, you can probably afford someone to carry it for you. I can go to TJMaxx and immediately fall in love with the most expensive handbag they have in the store. I don't have to see the price I just hone in on the most expensive one. I am entirely too fickle to spend over $100 on a purse! If I could find the perfect purse, I would buy it in every color and carry them the rest of my life. Since my needs change it doesn't exist and you don't know you will hate a purse until you take it home, load it up and schlep it around. I am reminded of a ball and chain.
My DFK (kristi) does not carry a purse if she can help it. On a recent excursion she borrowed her daughter's purse and was rushing around looking for things to put in it. Looking for things to put in it...you have got to be kidding me!!! Did I mention I am a slave to my purse I want it with me ALWAYS! I like a purse that holds my wallet (a purse by itself) 14 tubes of lipstick and gloss, comb, 10 pairs of eyeglasses, sunglasses, tissues, tide to go pen (because I'm messy everything lands on my boobs), ink pens, sketchbook or journal, addresses/datebook (because I am an old fashioned technophobe) camera, water bottle, keys (mine, mom's, in-laws, work etc.), my handy dandy pocket knife with many wonderful attachments (don't ask) cell phone, reading material and hair clips/scrunchies, gum or mints...sometimes husband's wallet or something that will entertain the grandchildren.
I surely would have won the "Let's Make a Deal" purse plunder. Where the emcee says I'll give you $$$ for a .........wait, yes I have one! I recently dumped all of my purses, well most of them on the floor and decided there was something uncomfortable or unwieldy or just something wrong with each and every one of them...I have already given several away...so I am thinking of eliminating all of them and starting over! Hey Dishy, want a purse or anyone else for that matter! You may not want the GINORMOUS one with my initials on it...this was yet another brilliant idea whereby I would put my laptop and purse contents in one place...it was a miserable failure...my laptop was too big, everything else fell to the bottom of the cavernous bag...
My daughter bought me this adorable soft as a baby's bum leather purse to carry to NYC for the evenings on the town...it is so tiny! I don't think it really qualifies as a purse it's more like a big wallet with a handle. I've laid bare my soul within the contents of my purse. There must be some serious psychological explanation as to why some women carry so much stuff or obsess over their purses. Thank goodness I don't carry a diaper bag anymore...I saw a first time mother at the grocery store yesterday and I swear she was carrying the house in that diaper bag and her husband had to carry the baby...I wonder what she thought would happen in that store with a baby and less stuff? I feel your pain sistah, truly I do. So what's in your bag?
