Monday, October 7, 2013

Having a bit of a ramble

Dear Blog,

Sigh, I know I have been in abstentia.  Life just does not allow me to control it.  I only pretend to exist behind the curtain and push the buttons.  I thought about breaking up with you permanently.  Some small part of me said, oh no it is not time to let you go.  How you tolerate the neglect I certainly don't understand. 

I have been experiencing overwhelm not in a bad way necessarily...suffering from a bit of post vacation blues.  I miss the ocean.  Specifically, I miss the Pacific Ocean!  The hubster and I took a road trip.  It was EPIC!  We traveled across our beautiful country, enjoyed about ninety percent of the Pacific coast and knocked out some important destinations such as Mt. Rainier.  Some of you are probably thinking here she goes again...I don't want to think of myself as being the person that holds you captive looking at 999 slides and talks about nothing but the EPIC trip.  It was so very meaningful on so many levels.  I am often asked what was the most beautiful or my favorite.  It was all good, really.  There may be a place or two we would not put on the next list.  There may have been a time or two where someone may have threatened to jump ship or car as the case may be and fly home.  And someone may have been overwhelmed by being in a car with an extrovert for that long.  We saw and did everything from the sacred, sublime to the ridiculous.  Many times, I absolutely knew I was standing on Hallowed Ground.  I had the image or thought of everyone and everything that led me to this beautiful country and becoming a citizen at the tender age of six.  I was meant to be here in this day and at this time I have no doubt.  I had glimpses of Heaven.  I imagine my first glimpse of the Pacific Ocean was much the same as my first glimpse of a new country as a child open to all possibilities.  I am training my brain to continue to believe in unlimited possibilities. 

How in the world did it get to be October so soon?   I haven't been to the coast of anywhere since August.  I am needing a fix!  The granddarlings and I spent a few days alone at the beach before everyone else arrived.  I realized again just how much energy is required to keep up with a seven year old and an eight year old.  They are precious, sweet and loving and curious and busy!  I was happy to see the reinforcements.  My dear blog, I will have to tell you all about our pirate adventure and Wild Peg another would excite you to no end.  Arrrrrggggggghhhh. 

Let's see what else...oh yeah, yeah...we went on our first ever Porsche Club Road was awesome...imagine 40 sportscars tearing through the mountains.  I wasn't as terrified due to previous experience on the coastal highway at Big Sur and northwards.  It was a lovely trip with a beautiful destination and we enjoyed ourselves very much.

Where were we...oh yeah, my absence...this weekend I spent time creating, connecting and sharing.  When you are with a group of women that allow you and each other to be your most authentic true self/selves...magical things happen!  There is a definite shift in your perspective (the theme was perception and connection)  So I still have a ton of warts and bumps...I am pretty self aware of where I fall short (I know it's hard for your to believe however it is true)  We have the same experiences until we look at them a new way and learn the lesson once and for all.  I think it was Einstein and I am paraphrasing (or screwing it up entirely) who said " Insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting different results."  I did have many AHA moments.  The true test is putting what you learn into action...because although your perspective may alter or change...quite frequently a conflict arises when someone has a different perspective or the situation you spent time away from is rearing its ugly head upon return even if you are basking in the afterglow of amazing growth for yourself.  And then there is always the new $#!+ that rears its head.  Fun times.

I have truly missed talking to you and I hope you will forgive me and allow me time and space to come back more often.  Speaking of time and space...I do believe I have my word for 2014...I'll get back with you on that one.  I will probably put that special thought into action since I am such an awfully slow learner.  My word Mindfulness has bitten me on the arse more than once this year.  Silly girl thought it would be any easy one.  Hahhahahahahaha...there is no easy button.

Savoring the moments, living amidst the chaos and trying to keep my sense of humor! Lovingly, Connie
PS Please go hug someone, a part of making things beautiful...thank you and ttyl!


Anonymous said...

Well babe - I had a beautiful, thoughtful comment all typed out and pffft. It said I had to log in to wordpress and BLAMMO it was gone. Shite. SO>>> blah blah blah blah. I love you! XOXO

Relyn Lawson said...

I've been gone for too long, too. It's nice to come by and catch up though.

Leigh Stevenson said...

Nice post, Connie! It's been far too long. Sometimes just putting thoughts down on paper relieves stress and also helps us relive beautiful times. I think you did both. So glad of your friendship.


Lisa Tjaarda said...

My Connie Sister! I loved being with your writing voice this morning! Sorry it took me so #$@# long to get to this post! Bring yourself to the Atlantic Ocean soon dear! I took my Bear to the beach at 79th yesterday before coming home to West Columbia yesterday afternoon. Mamma Ocean was exquisite! Smooth as blue silk! Nice silver fish kept flying out of the water...Bear was pulling on me to get to the smells he needed to explore...lots of shells to pick through! Missing you! L

Relyn Lawson said...

It's Thanksgiving Day, and our family eats an early dinner instead of lunch. Just now there is a lull between the hectic preparations and all the guests arriving for the meal. I wanted to take some of that time to visit my blogging friends. I needed to say thank you. Thank you for the inspiration you provide here in your place and for the comments you leave behind when you visit mine. Happy Thanksgiving, friend.

Leigh Stevenson said...

Daniel ecrabdBy the way! I didn't know you were born out of the states! Where?

Also, I think you did practice mindfulness this year all across the United States.... more than you realize. xoxo

Leigh Stevenson said...

Sorry. That first part was to prove I was not a Robot! Sorry!

Relyn Lawson said...

I miss you here. Just sayin'...