Tuesday, August 17, 2010

To Forgive or Not Forgive?

emp·ty [ émptee ]

containing nothing: not containing or holding anything, unoccupied, uninhabited, unfilled, etc. etc.

Experiencing some serious betrayal has left me feeling a little tired, shell shocked and empty.  I like my place to be a place of love, joy, compassion and lots of happy...with the occasional snark thrown in for fun.  The actions of others remind me that one must always look inside to find the full measure of one's worth!  Everything happens for a reason and there is always a lesson to be learned.  I am working on an attitude of forgiveness, praying and meditating on what that means.  My thoughts go round in circles and lead me in many directions, along with forgiveness comes the philosophy surrounding the word UBUNTU...I Am Because You Are...We are all connected to a larger whole.

Archbishop Desmond Tutu offered a definition

A person with Ubuntu is open and available to others, affirming of others, does not feel threatened that others are able and good, for he or she has a proper self-assurance that comes from knowing that he or she belongs in a greater whole and is diminished when others are humiliated or diminished, when others are tortured or oppressed.

Archbishop Desmond Tutu further explained Ubuntu in 2008:

One of the sayings in our country is Ubuntu - the essence of being human. Ubuntu speaks particularly about the fact that you can't exist as a human being in isolation. It speaks about our interconnectedness. You can't be human all by yourself, and when you have this quality - Ubuntu - you are known for your generosity.

We think of ourselves far too frequently as just individuals, separated from one another, whereas you are connected and what you do affects the whole world. When you do well, it spreads out; it is for the whole of humanity.

So when I offend, I am sorry and seek forgiveness...when offended I offer forgiveness whether it is sought or not. 

The Bible teaches us that we are to forgive over and over and over and over.  The "Golden Rule" suggests we treat others as we wish to be treated. 

"Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future."   Paul Boese.

"The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong."  Mahatma Gandhi

and for those of you that like a little snark with your diet coke:

"Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much."  Oscar Wilde

After turning the other cheek, the best "revenge" is to live a happy life surrounded by those that love and care for you...even with a foible or two!


Connie said...

Sometimes, as difficult as it is, we must "forgive" in order to heal and move forward.

I am so sorry you are going through this right now. xx

*Sending a warm hug your way*

stephanie said...

You're such a better person to try to forgive and forget.

Hopefully, this will blow over quickly because I can't imagine it being much fun.

(lather, rinse, repeat)

Mamma has spoken said...

It is hard to forgive and forget, it's what makes us human. It is also a survival kicking in too. Hope whatever you are going through turns out better for you soon.

Baracka said...

beautiful... you bring joy to my heart. forgiveness is the key. shake off offense i say and keep moving forward, god is watching and he is a god of justice. he will fight your battles and bring you double the blessings..

bless you my soul siter

SE'LAH... said...

oh love, believe me when i say, this too shall pass. sending lots of love and positive vibes your way. you're a beautiful soul.

one love.

Pippa said...

Ah, Ubuntu is a word I know well, Connie. =)

I am so sorry that betrayal crossed your path. I especially like the quote about only the strong being able to forgive. And I *KNOW* you are strong!

Sending you lots of hugs and warmth and light!