Monday, April 12, 2010

Thanks, but NO thanks

I love a great massage and a fabulous pedicure. A great hairstylist is worth their weight in gold as far as I am concerned. Recently, I read an article about some of the following really super bizarre spa treaments :

  • snakes that relieve tension (I don't think so) for about $70 one can have non venomous snakes slither across your back thus massaging it and relieving tension. thanks!

  • take a bath in tea, coffee, red wine, sake, or ramen noodles. (Japan) Sake is supposed to be good for your tea boosts the immune system. I honestly don't know what to think about soaking in a vat of ramen noodles...ewww! The Czech Republic offers tubs of dark beer!

  • the Hershey's Chocolate Spa (finally an idea I can wrap my brain around) perhaps a Whipped Cocoa Bath, Chocolate Bean Polish or a Chocolate Fondue Wrap

  • 24-karat gold facial treatment (for the mere price of $250) said to date back to Cleopatra, said to accelerate cell renewal and reverse oxidation.

  • The Geisha Facial - sterilized Nightingale excrement (contains important enzymes for your skin) at the mere cost of $180 you too can rub bird poo on your face!

  • Viagra for your hair...yes you heard it is actually bull sperm combined with Katera root??? Try it and let me know.

  • Cactus massage - yes a cactus massage opposed to a stone massage or a snake massage...$245 smackers and you can have prick-free (oh don't go there) cactus pads blended and massaged into your skin.

  • A butt facial (there has got to be a good joke in there somewhere) exfoliation and microcurrent (sounds electric) therapy to remove any bumps or lumps finishing with an organic spray tan. Yep, I need my butt spray tanned...solve all my problems.

  • Caviar Firming eggs for the face (guarooonteeed to transform your dull complexion to firm, radiant's that for a fish story)

  • Get wrapped in wet hay...whilst lying on a water bed you will be wrapped in wet hay which has been harvested from the meadows of Alpe Di Siusi...the only plus side for me is that you have to go to Italy for the treatment...I guess hay from the meadows of Alpe Di Siusi harvested at only certain times is better than hay harvested any ole time in the good ole USA...not a go for allergy sufferers!

And last but not least...a friend tried this in Singapore...the photos gave me the willies:

  • Garra Rufa fish (Doctor Fish) feet are placed into a small pool and filled with these little carp who eat the dead skin on your feet and legs...picture me shivering at the very thought! lovies...your assignment should you choose to accept it...try one of these fabulous treaments and report back to me!


Christy said...

You are so funny - I love your clever way of putting things! As for me, I'll stick with a good old French Pedicure.

Mamma has spoken said...

Sorry don't think I'll be doing any of the above any time soon. I have a hard enough time explaining to hubby that the $50 for a peddy is a good investment :o/

Tiffert said...

I use a green tea soak for pedicures at work. It smells great and softens the skin nicely. I also offer a chocolate mani/'s really hydrating but makes me eat brownies more often than I should! The fish pedicure is actually offered in the USA if you can believe that. You won't catch me signing up for it or any of the other crazy treatments you listed though!

Connie said...

Just a basic old french peddy for me

Anonymous said...

"Yep, I need my butt spray tanned...solve all my problems."


John's dad used to live in China and talked about the fish treatments, if I'm remembering correctly. I have to say, I'd probably be down for that - I'm weird enough to let my bird pick me half to death, why not some fish!

PS: I have miiisssssssssed YOU! Trying to come up for air, wish me luck!


stephanie of stopbouncing said...

!!! We were totally going to go beer-swimming while we were in Germany, but at $300+ a head, we opted to drink $300 worth of beer instead.

The cactus one is the only thing that makes sense as they're succulents and maybe some of that would- aw, heck, who am I kidding, that's insane.

As for the fish one, way too ticklish. WAY.

Can I pony up for the regular massage?

beth said...

i would totally do that fish pedicure and i might even try the viagra hair thingy....anything to make my hair come alive for a few hours would be worth it :)

Christina said...

SO not cool~ ramen noodles are for eating!! lol
i guess i am just a simple girl. lol

Anonymous said...

I'm sitting here awestruck! I mean, sometimes I think I'm being extravagant (did I spell that right?) to get my nails done every two or three weeks!

Anonymous said...

Bouncy - now you need to get "pre-natal" massage. It's a medical requirement. Tell your husband we said so.


Rosezilla said...

No, thanks, I'll just stay ugly. I was bitten by a tiny catfish on my toe when I was a little girl and it was very traumatic. :)

Pippa said...

Connie, I've held several huge constrictors around my shoulders - they love to nestle in long hair! - and the way you can feel those strong muscles of theirs move over your skin is PURE MAGIC. I'd go for the snake massage any day. It would be bliss. =)

kath said...

I live in Niagara on the Lake, Ontario, Canada and one of the fancy hotels here has the fish pedicure thing. I don't think I could do it. I popped over from Necessary Room, you have a fun place here!