I am turning to Rust!

I have experienced numerous paper cuts in my life.  No big!  This last paper cut was apparently the Mother of all paper cuts!  I bled profusely on my desk until I could grab a tissue after which I snagged a "band aid" and was good to go.  As I was taking a shower I removed the band aid and noticed this lovely stripe of rusty color around my thumb.  I scrubbed and scrubbed to no avail.  It is Monday and I still have a rusty ring around my thumb after many, many hand washings.  I have NO CLUE what this is about or when it will go away!!!  Anyone out there care to guess?  I did check the packaging on the band aids thinking just maybe they contained iodine or some such ingredient...nope. 

I switched to a platinum wedding ring because my gold engagement ring/band set caused my fingers to turn a very dark black.  I can wear earrings and necklaces with no reaction.  So What's up.  Somebody has to have an idea...I do not for sure! 

Since Men O Pause is such an ornery old cow I can only assume the weirdness that seems to be the norm rather than the exception is a result of that beast.  and because this image is soooooo accurate I will share it yet again...welcome to my itchy, b*&chy, psycho...life!  We laugh because it is more fun than crying.

In other late breaking, exciting news...I am declaring a television fast!  Do you ever have periods whereupon you just watch absolutely too much junk?  Mind numbing stuff.  Train wreck stuff...you are repulsed but cannot look away stuff.  And then she says to herself, " I sure am having some strange dreams"  One cannot eat Gummi Bears for supper,  watch "True Blood" and expect to sleep well...really!  If you are looking for me I am NOT on the couch watching the mind splatterer. 

She's Come Undone

The Guess Who nailed my 2010 with the perfect lyrics.  I only take issue with the lines that say It was too late.  It is never too late!  At least I sincerely hope not.  I am currently either bipolar or highly hormonal so I am thinking I need to go into the shop for some minor repairs and adjustments...see you on the flip side! 
(a little sand, sun and ocean is a cure for most anything!)

She's come undone


She didn't know what she was headed for

And when I found what she was headed for

It was too late



She's come undone

She found a mountain that was far too high

And when she found out she couldn't fly

It was too late



It's too late

She's gone too far

She's lost herself



She's come undone

She wanted truth but all she got was lies

Came the time to realize

And it was too late



She's come undone

She didn't know what she was headed for

And when I found what she was headed for

Mama, it was too late



It's too late

She's gone too far

She's lost herself



She's come undone

Na, na na na na na na

Too many mountains

And not enough stairs to climb

Too many churches

And not enough truth

Too many people

And not enough eyes to see

Too many lives to lead

And not enough time



It's too late

She's gone too far

She's lost herself



She's come undone

Doh doh doh doh ....

It's too late

She's gone too far

She's lost herself



She's come undone

She didn't know what she was headed for

And when I found what she was headed for

It was too late



She's come undone

She found a mountain that was far too high

And when she found out she couldn't fly

Mama, it was too late

It's too late

She's gone too far

She's lost herself



She's come undone

Doh doh doh doh doh doh doh doh

I'm pretty sure they make a pill for that...

ARGGGGGH! Have you ever been so tired your hair even hurts? This is what happens when you choose a word for the year that has you removing toxic people, places, things, thoughts etc. from your life. The physical manifestations have been crazy! I am exhausted, my face is breaking out (what's up with that I am way on the reverse end of puberty) I am weepy, irritable and just out of sorts...oh...hold the phone...it is THIS...

Have you ever driven somewhere only to wonder how in the world you got there in one piece because you do not remember the drive? The mental fog and forgetfulness that is my life scares me the most. I am a forced optimist...that is...it does not come to me naturally. I tend to be more of a cynic and worrier...so my train of thought goes in the direction of what if it never gets better...what if I keep losing more pieces of my memory? These are the thoughts that keep you awake at night thus perpetuating the tiredness that seems to be a daily reality. I recently had an opportunity to create art to be considered for a book that will be published soon...the deadline was a short one and sadly not met by me as my spirit and body were unwilling. My teeth wouldn't even cooperate! I have a trashbag full of discards and a table full of semi used supplies. So disappointing!

So, my gentle friends, I need a plan...a list...I need to get some forward momentum happening...

In the wake of working in the business world all day, caring for aging parents, being a wife, grandma etc., etc. I am not taking care of myself...if I don't take care of me...how will I continue to be of service to anyone else?

Obviously some extreme self care is needed! I express or experience no hesitation when it comes to helping others...I think a little, nay a LOT of pampering is in order (that is my story and I am sticking to it)

What do you do when your energy reserves are low and you feel a little sad or in need of a boost? After all one can not live on Diet Coke and Chocolate alone...

Lessons from the Diva

Happy Birthday to the Diva...September 7...no current pictures from recent celebration as the floozies are being slackers and have not sent them to me! Love Ya'll anyway! We celebrated the Diva's birthday at Travinia's in true floozie fashion. A fun time was had by all. I have known Paula, aka as "The Diva" aka as my evil twin (some days I am the evil twin) The evil twin misnomer came by way of the Diva's students thinking we were sisters...we are sisters in spirit! I have known Paula approximately fifteen years...our daughters are the same age and quite frequently could be seen together. We have experienced grief, tragedy, divorces, joy, laughter, a series of adventures, workouts and everything in between! Paula came by the nickname Diva for a number of reasons, the main one being a mutual friend had a sign made for Paula referring to the Diva and the rest as they say is history or herstory! Paula has always been a swan, it took her a few years to totally embrace her beautiful persona. This is the woman my husband would leave me for if she were to have him, just kidding. Carl loves being around Paula but so do alot of other men, sorry Tom! In honor of this zany, crazy beautiful friend I have compiled a list of lessons learned from the Diva:

• You don't have to have a beautiful solo voice to sing in a choir, it's fun and it takes many voices to create a beautiful sound.
• Birthdays are too special to celebrate for just one day.
• Feathers and sparkles are a good thing.
• You can never have enough feathers, sparkles, black pants and tops.
• A little jewelry is great, more jewelry is better
• More is more!
• The joy of jacuzzi ownership
• Shopping is a good thing... it stimulates the economy
• Sometimes you have to let go of "friends" that drag you down or require more than you are willing or able to give or "cost" your well being in some way
• To enjoy excellent meals with good friends
• How to be a great hostess
• You can never have too many flamingos (that is a story for another day, while Kendall is responsible for the Diva thing alas I am responsible for the beginning of the Flamingo epidemic
• It's okay to be forked (not what you think, again a story for another post)
• Be Yourself and true to yourself, if someone doesn't like it...they are missing out
• Everyone is a potential friend
• The higher the hair the better

I could mention a few more things however the Diva is already very comfortable being fabulous...we wouldn't want her to get a "big head" The best lesson of all LIVE BIG OR GO HOME!!! So, again wishing the Diva a wonderful Birthday Month and then some. Much love from all your floozie friends!

I am NOT lovin Perimenopause

Looking truly lovely, the Diva and me (I am in black in case you could not figure out who the Diva is) after some yummy cranberry punch and bridal shower refreshments! I am thinking hurry up and take this picture because: a) I am hot as you know what and b) these *&(* feathers itch like heck!!!

In case you are wondering what perimenopause is, it is that particularly hellish time before menopause and can last many years prior to menopause. Menopause put very simply is cessation from menses and fertility (oh happy day!) I think it gets the bad rap when the real nasty culprit is that transition time, the interval known as (drum roll, please) PERIMENOPAUSE. You know I am a Life is Good kind of girl and I am happy with my life and the stage am in except when I have the following:

Reasons I am not loving perimenopause

• My body thermostat is completely and totally out of whack. I am freezing at the office and I wake up at night soaking wet! My hair is wet, I often have to get up and have a bath or shower which brings us to the next reason...


• Interrupted Sleep - I am a lifelong member of the insomniacs club, I do not need another reason to be awake. I refuse to go anywhere in our very small RV because a) there is no tub and b) there is no where for me to pace or stare at the walls while I am awake!!!


• Dry, itchy skin - again I am a lifelong member of the dry skin club, now around 8 p.m. I have a need to scratch my entire body (yes, I have a great dermatologist so I do not have any weird parasites or fungus) I have a really groovy long handled brush which helps immensely.


• Bladder problems - I must know where all bathrooms are at any given location due to the fact that my bladder has become a tad unreliable. Wet shoes are no joke, my friends.


• My personal favorite - mood swings and unreliable attitude - hey if you don't like my attitude, hang around about 5 minutes, I promise it will change and I will have nothing to do with it. One minute you are lovin life and the next minute you are doing the Linda Blair Head Spinning spewing green vomit "Exorcist" thing.


• It can last for years, YEARS, before you actually get through the transition...sisters, I can vouch for this! For those of you who experienced none of the above symptoms, lucky you and a pox on your house (just kidding)

Yeah, I had a rough night (I was mopping the kitchen floor and doing laundry at 1:30 a.m.) I dozed off to a particularly bad C rated spider movie. My husband does not understand the cleaning in the middle of the night at all. I am like, I am fine, go back to bed and LEAVE ME ALONE!!! Then he had the nerve to speak to me before 6:00 a.m. We have an unspoken agreement, when my head is spinning we don't talk, we don't even think of trying to humor me out of the funk until it passes, which as I said is in about 5 minutes. Thank goodness I was able to find something to wear that the magic clothes gremlins left alone except the tag in the skirt is a little troublesome! (It's that itching thing again) This morning some crazy person pulled out directly in front of me and proceeded to drive extremely slow, causing me to use some language that would embarrass my children. And they only thought it was funny when I said things like "Jeepers or Oh My Stars" The tide has turned and it is not always pretty! I could wax on and on but I don't want to make any one's ears or eyes bleed. See, I am better now...another one of my favorite saying is "and it came to pass" Amen, to that! In the "mean" time I am hanging on with my sense of humor intact as much as possible. Laughter is the best medicine and I do laugh alot. And there is always shopping.... My new best friend, she agrees with everything I say, smiles all the time and she's older than me!