Midnight Musings

Dear Insomnia,
We seem to have a love/hate relationship.  Your presence allows me to reflect on my days, nights, my comings and goings, my "doings"  Your presence also guarantees I will be tired.  We are traveling, the husband is sleeping soundly.  He will wake at dark thirty ready to start the day.  I will not want him to talk to me...not yet anyway.  I need to wake up slowly and quietly.  This is complicated in a one room hotel suite.  This cold is aiding and abetting you, dear insomnia, both of you can go away now! 

My plan was to write about the beautiful places we have visited.  To post a highlight each day.  I have been away from my home since May 14.  It is a blessing and a curse to be able to travel for this length of time.   Perhaps, I will take the non sleeping time to "catch up."  A snapshot of our days.  Speaking of snapshots...I am averaging about 300 photos a day on my big girl camera plus whatever catches my eye on the iPhone, you know because Instagram.

At this point in the trip I have broken a camera lens on a mirrorless 4/3 camera...it has been sent home in shame.  I have lost my favorite eyeglasses due to the call of nature in the middle of nowhere and an attack of mosquitos.  I have shipped home one suitcase full of "stuff" and two additional boxes.  I am finding you can get by with a whole lot less than you think you need particularly when loading and unloading a sports car everyday.  I have lost my pocketknife.  It seems as the days wear on and on and on, the floor space by my feet grows smaller and smaller, however the experiences grow and grow.

So, I was having a thought about our visit to Portland's rose garden and particularly The Japanese Garden...the husband is a smoker.  He is fairly considerate for a smoker.  He lit up while waiting for me in this very Zen environment.  This woman, who I am very sure considers herself very Zen, one love and all (as long as you agree and don't offend) was shockingly rude in such a beautiful setting.  She shouted at the husband.  I could tell he was very embarrassed, he apologized.  He was ready to wait for me in the car.  I was ready to get a little more than medieval with the rude woman.  It costs nothing to be kind.  She was not an employee of the garden, she was the self appointed smoking police.  My Mom always says "It is not what you say but how you say it"  For the most part, we have met the most kind and interesting people.

Perhaps, dear Insomnia, we can come to a truce.  You let me sleep and I write at a more reasonable hour. Thanks, bye. 

Stayed tuned for updated "snapshots from the road" or "postcards from the edge"  Name suggestions greatly appreciated!

Don't Take Anything Personally!

People will either amaze you or disappoint the hell out of you.  Most of the time, when you are disappointed it is because someone has projected their junk onto you.  It is time for my annual reading of The Four Agreements.  It changed my life and is a good reminder of some very basic principles.  Ironically, the very person who introduced me to the book is a friend I love dearly who I am seriously trying to understand right now.  What I understand is this,  Facebook Messenger is not the place to discuss important issues... take the time to be face to face with someone or at least make a phone call, there is less chance of misunderstanding.  In reality the issue is not about me or anyone else, it is whatever  is going on in their life. We all have busy, productive lives, obligations and our own junk...much as I would like I cannot always be the cheerleader. In the meantime,  the following is excerpted from the book, The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz

I am convinced if we live by these precepts, our lives are a little softer with less rough edges.  I read this every year to remind myself of the places I need some softness.  I have often said, sometimes the most exercise I get is jumping to conclusions"  Not making assumptions and not taking things personally...those are my biggest challenges.  Often, you have to step back or move on to allow for growth. Here's wishing you a soft place to land when the ride gets bumpy.

Word of the Year 2015

Many, many years ago, Christine Kane inspired me to choose a word of the year rather than make resolutions.  A guiding word to direct your choices for the coming year.  This is my seventh or eighth year of choosing a word.  Sometimes the word chooses you.  Words must be selected carefully, in other words, be careful what you ask for because you just might get it.

Last year I chose a word that someone, well-meaning, asked if I was sure and told me what that word meant to them.  I second guessed myself and chose a motto for the year instead.  The motto worked okay, however I kept coming back to the word and all of the doubts my well meaning friend instilled.
2014 was a year of doubts and second guessing everything.  It passed in such a blur...I was and have been in a survival type mode...not fully living and enjoying all of my blessings and gifts.  Living life by putting one foot in front of the other one day to the next and hoping for the best is not living.  It is a practice of being ungrateful for all the joy and beauty one can experience.

I have been thinking of a word for days and one finally came to me...again with the doubts.  When feeling doubtful about my word, I grab a jar of words and scatter them, close my eyes and pick.  Intuitively, I chose the word that originally came to me.

My word this year is Savor!  There are multiple definitions.  Here are a few that resonate with me:

to enjoy something for a long time

to delight in

to have experience of

This is the perfect word as it invites me to slow down and savor life.  Savor my experiences.  Slow down and smell the roses.  Stop allowing whatever happens to happen.  While putting one foot in front of the other, taking the opportunity to really look around and see.  My camera and I...we plan to be a better team in 2015.  We plan to operate better together.  Photography has always helped me to "see" more clearly.  I would like to create in a different way than what is most comfortable.

So my friends, I am wishing you a very Happy New Year.   Join me in stepping out of our comfort zones.  While we are rushing about doing all that we must, let us be sure to PLAY and to SAVOR!

All Creatures Great and Small

Recently,  I took a little stroll on the beach and pier at the Myrtle Beach State Park.  I was having a little quiet time after a frenzied trip to The Big Apple.  Just my camera, the ocean and all the beautiful creatures living there.  I love to watch and capture the antics of birds.  I watched one for some amount of time thinking his bouncing around was rather funny.  Upon closer inspection, I noticed that his feet and a portion of his wing were tangled in fishing line.  I followed him a bit to determine the best way to remove the line as it was wrapped very tightly.  I had absolutely nothing in my possession to remove the line provided I could catch the little creature.  I approached two men fishing and asked if they perhaps had something to remove the line with...one just looked at me and said, "You'll never catch him, it will cut off the circulation and it will loose the leg and then he promptly went back to fishing.  I asked, are you sure..."YEP".  I became rather distraught to no avail, followed the bird a bit and yes, he was fast.  I finally had to leave the pier.  I felt so sad and helpless to do anything.  The little bird has been on my mind and refuses to leave.  Along with the bird, I am reminded of an article I recently read in "The Elephant Journal"  The gist of it is as follows:

A building is on fire, which one of the following do you do...

A)  You are so wrapped up in your own business you do not even notice there is a fire.
B)  You notice the fire, and call for help allowing someone else to deal with it.
C)  You physically assist and do all you can to help.
D)  You set the fire or add fuel to the fire or fan the flames of an already blazing fire.

Given the current state of affairs in our own neighborhoods, country and around the world you can probably see where I am going with this.  Should I have tried harder to get help from the fishermen or at the very least persuaded them to allow me the use of their tools.  Sure, it is one little bird, however isn't all life valuable.  I am dismayed by the amount of disregard for life all around me.  I am appalled by the sheer numbers of abortions (I am not proposing the right/wrong of it here) Unborn children are disposed of as if yesterday's garbage.  Homeless people are treated worse than the dogs roaming loose on the streets, at least the dogs stand a better chance of being rescued.  There are so many examples of hatefulness.  It is not my intent to focus on each issue but to focus instead on what type of people we are or we are becoming.  Who do you want to be a, b, c or d?   We fight among ourselves to be "right"  bashing each other because we are Christian or not, liberal or not and so on and on.  This solves nothing, it only adds fuel or fans the flames.

I want to be the person who is aware and offers what I can to alleviate problems rather than fan the flames.  Who do you want to be?  We are the authors of our own stories.  Everyone has a story and we do not know all the intimate details of each person's path.  Let us each be like the one we most admire, the one feeding the poor, washing their feet and giving them comfort.

If all you can manage is a smile, then do it.  You will never know what it means to someone struggling. We all want to be acknowledged and to know we matter.  My challenge to myself and to you, is this, step up!  Kind is always good.  I wish you a very Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Winter Solstice!  Whatever your path, I wish you well.  Peace and Love Y'all!

No Expiration Date for Grief

It finally occurred to me why I have been feeling sad and out of sorts lately.  Today, November 17 marks the 11th anniversary of my brother's death.  We were quite the pair and I miss him so very much!

So my dear brother, I am thinking of you today...

thinking of how you could make everyone laugh,

thinking of your kindness and compassion

thinking of your love of adventure

thinking of how you took your role as oldest man in the family so seriously after Dad passed.

thinking of how patient you were with Mom when she drove me nuts.

thinking about how you were such an awesome Uncle and are so very missed by Michelle and Heather

I am thankful for the memories we were able to make

the laughter, tears and arguments

You are such an example and inspiration 

You are my Hero!

A thought of two regarding the life we each live...

We are not promised tomorrow

Waiting around for things to happen is of no benefit...

Live Large

Spread your Joy, Love and Compassion!

Peaks and Valleys

Peaks and Valleys, people...it is all peaks and valleys.  It is very hard to believe we are in mid-October!  I love the Autumn season.  Apparently, the Autumn season is not loving me this year...monster allergies including mysterious rash and hives.  So I am on prednisone, which is a nasty little steroid that makes you have road rage and such.  Case in point, some not paying attention driver pulled out in front of me and then drove incredibly slowly (thank goodness I was paying close attention) less than a block later, they took forever turning into the gas station...I was so very close to pulling in and giving them a piece of my mind.  I had to remind myself that this was not my nature and it was the drugs talking.  It was all I could do to get to the office without a meltdown.  The day has been full of annoying phone calls, computer glitches.  You know, the kind of things which do not bother you on most days.  The office is quiet now and I am taking a breather to calm and center myself.  I despise medication of any sort and this one makes me sad, mad and uncomfortable in my own skin.  Only a few more days and things can get back to whatever normal is for me.

When I am feeling particularly peevish I know it is time to stop, collaborate and listen (just kidding, but not)
Actually, it is a good time to center, breathe and give gratitude to our Source, our Universe, our Heavenly Father for the many, many blessings we each have to behold.  So what I am loving today...

The skies are the bluest blue with a slight breeze...the chill in the air...popcorn and pumpkins...the changing leaves dancing on the air and landing in fluffy piles around the yard...the colors...socks and sweaters...onion soup with grilled cheese...any soup or stew on the stove top for the cooling weather...yoga and Nia...apples and homemade applesauce...anticipating a visit from the granddarlings...dreaming and planning...resting, a little turning inward for the cooler months...knitting...reading...pondering...out of season beach days...herbal teas...friends and laughter...people in love...halloween decorations...kindness....my little monk statue by the front door, he stands vigil encouraging each to come in peace and relax...home

I feel better already!  How about you, what pleases you most today?  Peace and Love Y'all!

Making Your Insides and Outsides Match

Recently I opened my heart and made myself very vulnerable by sharing my very personal back story.  It is not the whole story, however it is significant to my growth as a person.  There are so many ways to heal the spirit.  Prior to my 50th birthday, I attended a couple of retreats to assist in the finding of myself.   A friend of mine, knowing of my passion for photography,  recommended a retreat/workshop called Inner/Outer Vision hosted by Catherine Anderson and Jennifer Halls.  It was a huge transformative step! I was reminded how to access my intuition and heal myself.   Passionate photographers intuitively know what they wish to create with their images.  Activities provided ways to access our creativity in an intuitive way.  Creativity heals me.  It is a balm to my soul.  As a child I could spend hours creating a home in a mimosa tree or involving myself in any number of whimsical endeavors.  Sometimes, as adults we forget that "knowing" .  I encourage anyone to seek that which feeds their spirit and helps with healing.  Personally, I love to learn and I love to try new ideas on for size!  It is what keeps me sane and assists with the aging process...learning experiences, creative outlets and adventure...that, my friend is the true Fountain of Youth!  Experiment until you find something that makes you feel alive and happy!  

Another way to determine what you may wish to accomplish is to write yourself a note or letter and stash it somewhere, read it later and assess where you are and where you want to be.  I have done this a number of times and it resonates with me.  The following is a note to myself written at the Inner/Outer Vision Retreat, signed, sealed and delivered to Jennifer to be mailed sometime within that year.  Let me mention it is somewhat disconcerting to see a letter from yourself in the mail, particularly when you have my memory!   The  following is the card and the message dated March 2, 2013:

Hi Lovie,
When you get caught up in the craziness of your days, I want you to pause, breathe and remember the beautiful weekend that you gifted yourself.  The time to just BE, the time to explore photography and see this as a re-awakening of your talents, those revealed and those waiting to be revealed.  Remember the silence of the woods, your own breath, the crunch of leaves and the sound of wind in the trees.
Remember to slow down and Be Mindful!  Love ya bunches, C

I am a little tightly wrapped and this reminder was perfect!  The last five years have been a source of amusement, trials and great personal growth.  I have said it before and I will say it again...Life is Beautiful!
Find your Tribe! Hang with the people that make you feel absolutely alive, delicious and beautiful!  Ditch the Drama!  Practice extreme self care!  The journey is one step at a time.  I saw this painted on stairs...You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step!  

This photo is credited to Catherine Anderson and was gifted in the form a card to retreat participants      
Catherine hosts some wonderful events, trips and offers many creative options at the following website:  Catherine Anderson Studio.  Catherine provided the photography instruction and Jennifer of You Know LLC guided us in the use of our intuition.  Jennifer offers personal guidance, workshops, retreats and a monthly meditation.  The meditations can be accessed on the above website for a small fee.  Jennifer is very generous and frequently offers recordings free of charge.  She is also a fabulous artist.

Namaste Y'all!

The Girl with the Broken Smile

I was the girl with the broken smile.  I am eighteen or nineteen in the above photo.  I was in an unhealthy relationship with the boy/man who would in the next year or so become my husband.  Turning 55 has catapulted me forward in terms of releasing my old stories and dumping some of the baggage I thought I needed to drag around most of my life.

 I felt very compelled to share this post today  because of a sense that someone "out there" needs to read my words.  I was conceived in violence. My mother,  the age I was in the above photo, was date raped by a man a bit older than her.  Her first plan of action was to attempt an abortion.  I don't know about you, however,  I could have gone my whole life not knowing.  The man I always called my father adopted me when I was almost two years old.  This story was withheld until I was fifteen.  I am certain my parents did what they thought best at the time.  It was shocking news for a teenager.  I needed my birth certificate to get my learner's permit.  My dad  reminded me of his unconditional love when he said,  "I am a lucky man, not everyone gets to pick such a wonderful  daughter."  My mother dealing with rage and hurt, dealt some pretty harsh blows, both verbally and physically.  My dad was the saving grace for both of us.  My mother and I have finally come to terms with our relationship. Her life experiences contributed to her behavior.  Forgiveness has been a wonderful gift.

Despite having a really kind, loving father, I still had bucket loads of low self esteem. I sought affection in less than ideal situations.  I embarked on a series of poor choices. I sampled my mother's valium on a regular basis, drank alcohol to the point of illness and explored a few other drugs.  Relationship choices were not  good.  I allowed the young man  I was involved with to make ALL my choices for me.  He loved me and was going to do all the right things, right!   He was an extremely jealous sort and would go into violent rages if someone even looked my way.  Of course I thought that was my fault.  We married. We stumbled through a few years, he started a business...we were broke all the time.  We eventually started a family.  The pregnancy progressed, I was in an automobile accident. Things moved along as they should until one night, still too early for birth, my water broke and blood gushed everywhere.  My obstetrician determined that it was imperative to deliver as the placenta was deteriorating.  I was losing too much blood and our baby was suffering.  I had an emergency c-section. We almost died.  Our daughter was small, had trouble feeding and required a feeding tube, incubator and some assistance breathing.  Miracles do happen...Michelle stayed in the NICU for two weeks and then was able to come home.  She had no delays whatsoever in growth and development.  We were feeling blessed. We were happy parents and soon another daughter was born. Being a mother gave my life purpose and meaning.

The honeymoon period of our lives ended.  I worked full time, cared for our girls and he worked really hard building a business.  Emotionally, we were both miserable.  He sought solace with other women.  I devoted all my time to "my" girls.  I developed an eating disorder and gained weight.  I swallowed my sadness, pain and anger in the form of food.  After, I would attempt to purge.  The long and short of this story is that my husband cheated one more time, finally left me and married the other woman. I was crushed and angry.  After wallowing in self pity for awhile I began the road to recovery and discovery. I wanted Michelle and Heather to experience the example of a strong and independent woman.

  My former husband was/is not a bad person.  We were mismatched and unhappy. Neither of us had the skills to fix the relationship.   That was over 20 years ago...some people will not let things go, last year his sister felt the need in a very public gathering to remind me that her brother and I were not meant to be together and EVERYONE knew that except me.   Sometimes, you just have to walk away from unkind or clueless people. I mention this because people are quirky.  It throws them for a loop when you change patterns and change your story.

We are all broken at one time or another.  Everyone has a story. No one is immune from loss and tragedy.  We all have lies we tell ourselves. We attempt to numb our pain with food, alcohol and other substances.  People who are broken can find redemption and repair their souls. Call on your higher power.  For me, my Heavenly Father answered prayers and carried me when I was weak, tired and devastated.

 I have been married to a wonderful man for the last 17 years.  He thinks I am a beautiful, smart and wonderful human being! He reminds me daily that he is getting the best I have to offer.  The second act of my life is amazing.  We have fun, we laugh and we road trip everywhere!  We disagree about a lot of things and we are as different as night and day...we work through the problems.  Sometimes, we agree to disagree.

Life is beautiful.  Find your tribe.  Walk away from drama.  Put that baggage down once and for all!
You are enough...your existence matters.  You are loved beyond measure.  Learn to love yourself.
Change your story...there is no easy button, things that matter the most are worth the difficulty.   Follow your own path....everyone has their own obstacles and victories along the journey.  Our trials can be stumbling blocks or stepping stones...ultimately you get to choose.

Having a bit of a ramble

Dear Blog,

Sigh, I know I have been in abstentia.  Life just does not allow me to control it.  I only pretend to exist behind the curtain and push the buttons.  I thought about breaking up with you permanently.  Some small part of me said, oh no it is not time to let you go.  How you tolerate the neglect I certainly don't understand. 

I have been experiencing overwhelm not in a bad way necessarily...suffering from a bit of post vacation blues.  I miss the ocean.  Specifically, I miss the Pacific Ocean!  The hubster and I took a road trip.  It was EPIC!  We traveled across our beautiful country, enjoyed about ninety percent of the Pacific coast and knocked out some important destinations such as Mt. Rainier.  Some of you are probably thinking here she goes again...I don't want to think of myself as being the person that holds you captive looking at 999 slides and talks about nothing but the EPIC trip.  It was so very meaningful on so many levels.  I am often asked what was the most beautiful or my favorite.  It was all good, really.  There may be a place or two we would not put on the next list.  There may have been a time or two where someone may have threatened to jump ship or car as the case may be and fly home.  And someone may have been overwhelmed by being in a car with an extrovert for that long.  We saw and did everything from the sacred, sublime to the ridiculous.  Many times, I absolutely knew I was standing on Hallowed Ground.  I had the image or thought of everyone and everything that led me to this beautiful country and becoming a citizen at the tender age of six.  I was meant to be here in this day and at this time I have no doubt.  I had glimpses of Heaven.  I imagine my first glimpse of the Pacific Ocean was much the same as my first glimpse of a new country as a child open to all possibilities.  I am training my brain to continue to believe in unlimited possibilities. 

How in the world did it get to be October so soon?   I haven't been to the coast of anywhere since August.  I am needing a fix!  The granddarlings and I spent a few days alone at the beach before everyone else arrived.  I realized again just how much energy is required to keep up with a seven year old and an eight year old.  They are precious, sweet and loving and curious and busy!  I was happy to see the reinforcements.  My dear blog, I will have to tell you all about our pirate adventure and Wild Peg another day...it would excite you to no end.  Arrrrrggggggghhhh. 

Let's see what else...oh yeah, yeah...we went on our first ever Porsche Club Road Tour...it was awesome...imagine 40 sportscars tearing through the mountains.  I wasn't as terrified due to previous experience on the coastal highway at Big Sur and northwards.  It was a lovely trip with a beautiful destination and we enjoyed ourselves very much.

Where were we...oh yeah, my absence...this weekend I spent time creating, connecting and sharing.  When you are with a group of women that allow you and each other to be your most authentic true self/selves...magical things happen!  There is a definite shift in your perspective (the theme was perception and connection)  So I still have a ton of warts and bumps...I am pretty self aware of where I fall short (I know it's hard for your to believe however it is true)  We have the same experiences until we look at them a new way and learn the lesson once and for all.  I think it was Einstein and I am paraphrasing (or screwing it up entirely) who said " Insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting different results."  I did have many AHA moments.  The true test is putting what you learn into action...because although your perspective may alter or change...quite frequently a conflict arises when someone has a different perspective or the situation you spent time away from is rearing its ugly head upon return even if you are basking in the afterglow of amazing growth for yourself.  And then there is always the new $#!+ that rears its head.  Fun times.

I have truly missed talking to you and I hope you will forgive me and allow me time and space to come back more often.  Speaking of time and space...I do believe I have my word for 2014...I'll get back with you on that one.  I will probably put that special thought into action since I am such an awfully slow learner.  My word Mindfulness has bitten me on the arse more than once this year.  Silly girl thought it would be any easy one.  Hahhahahahahaha...there is no easy button.

Savoring the moments, living amidst the chaos and trying to keep my sense of humor! Lovingly, Connie

PS Please go hug someone, smile...be a part of making things beautiful...thank you and ttyl!

All Cry No Work

All Cry No Work comes from an Asian lady that used to own a restaurant we frequented often.  She ran that business with an iron fist, a loud voice and  mostly family.  She would literally scream orders to the cooks...it got to the point that we began only getting take out.  One evening as I was waiting for boneless chicken or some such treat, a young lady came in just boo hooing...sobbing.  She apparently worked there and explained why she was crying.  It seems her brand new car was hit in a parking lot with nary a sign of the person that did the damage.   Did I mention it was her first BRAND NEW car?  Anyways, a few moments later after she had gone somewhere else in the establishment...the little  lady starts looking around and yellling to anyone within earshot...ALL CRY NO WORK!  When ever life slings lemons at me I try my level best to flip it to a positive.  My husband and I felt sorry for the young girl, however when either one of us would complain or fuss too much...one of us would look at the other and say ALL CRY NO WORK!  It takes on a different meaning than what the little lady orignally meant...her employee was crying instead of working...for us though, we laugh about it and think yeah all that fussing and complaining is not working. 

I have been in abstentia, simply because life has been crazy...it has thrown its usual twists and turns however I found myself ALL CRY NO WORK...I just didn't feel like writing about anything that I couldn't spin positive.  I miss my blog and I miss the camraderie of my fellow bloggers...I have lots of catching up to do!  Over at The Fifty Factor, my friend posted this interesting and fun getting to know you ABC thingy and I have decided to give it a go. 

Age :  Just had a month long celebration turning 54 requires


Bed Size:  Queen

Chore You Hate:  Mopping floors however I love sparkling floors what are you going to do?

Dogs :  Have always had one or more.  Currently have a rescue Chow/Lab mix with a quirky personality. His name is Duncan

Essential Start To My Day:  Prayer, meditation, a moment or two of watching and listening to the birds at the feeders

Favorite Color:  The entire BLUE family...anything sky or sea colored works for me

Gold or Silver:  Mostly silver...I do like it all

House or Apartment :  House

Instruments Played : Does the stereo count or a kazoo or wax paper over a comb...not the musical one in the family

Job Title:  Goddess of My Universe?  I do every office thing you can possibly think of for our family's business

Kids :  We have lots of children, their spouses and grandchildren

Live :  in a semi rural area near Columbia, South Carolina...although a Villa in Italy would be appreciated

Married :  Yes, 16 years of an interesting and wild ride...gosh I love that man! 

Never Again :  Can I get back to you on that one?  Road trips/vacations with unreasonable people...yes I do have to pee again!

Other Fun Fact :  I love to dance. I  particularly enjoy the tribal aspect sometimes included in NIA

Pet Peeve:  shouldn't that be plural?  I despise overly large trucks or SUVs trying their best to bully past me.

Quote   "Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless"  Mother Teresa

Righty or Lefty :  Right handed or is this a sneaky political question :)

Siblings:  Two younger brothers, one is deceased and tons of Sisters whom have nothing to do with birth or blood!

Time You Wake Up:  As late as I can get away with...it really depends usually 6:30 ish

University Attended :  Midlands Technical College, also attended the University of Mrs., MOM and Hard Knocks and Montessori Institute of America

Veggies You Dislike:   Overcooked ones..yuck!  I can't think of one I don't like now that I know how to cook them.

What Makes You Run Late :  My memory and having to go to the bathroom after I am in the car and then leaving my keys in the bathroom and having to come back inside to retrieve them.

X-Rays:  Hmmm...as in airport security or just in general...afraid to see what might be in there!

Yum Food : Chocolate, french fries, macaroni and cheese (shouldn't this be plural as well?)

Zoo Animal Favorite:  I seem to have difficulty having one favorite of anything...Giraffes...I love to watch them move and sit down, rather elegant for such an unusual body type

So I am leaving ALL CRY NO WORK here and getting on with the business of enjoying those moments we are given!

Word of the Year Challenge

 

Six years ago I attended a couple of retreats led by Christine Kane.  I learned a LOT about myself and the power of words and thoughts.  Energy goes where Attention flows!  Christine mentioned the word of the year idea and I absolutely loved it.  I managed to get quite a few friends on board...we have been doing it instead of a resolution for several years now.  Quite simply you choose one word for the direction you wish to go in the New Year.  I have learned that the word you choose may bring up some old stuff that needs resolving!  So give very careful thought to what you choose!  In 2012, my word chose me...it was exploration.  Exploration encompassed many areas...travel, inner travel and being brave.

I struggled with a word for this year...my thinking has been so scattered and I procrastinate on everything.  However, all the words that I was choosing all came back to one word....Mindfulness.
Mindfulness covers a multitude of areas...I have a BEAUTIFUL life and I want to SAVOR it!  I get caught up in the busies, the go, go, go of errands and responsibilities...much of that won't go away, however I get to choose the quality of what I am doing and I can slow down...smell the roses. 

My friends and I, we begin to question each other about our words slightly before Christmas...just to get the idea rolling.  My dear friend, Jayne wrote a great blog post last year about the word of the year and she re-posted it with a bit of an add on...I have also linked to Christine Kane, who was the source of the inspiration for me.  Christine has helped change the world and many people's lives for the better...finding their own best potential...you can click on the highlighted names and that will direct you to these very interesting, wonderful people!  Thanks Christine for the impact on my life!

So my challenge to you is this...toss those resolutions...choose one word...embrace it...let it unfold in your life...you will NEVER make and break a New Year's Resolution again!  Let me know which word you choose (no pressure there)  Wishing each of you a New Year filled with joy, prosperity, love and all the wonderful blessings we all stand to receive if we are willing!

Kindness begins with Me!

Someone recently asked me, "What is your purpose in life"  There are so many ways you can answer this question.  Some days, my first thought would be, I dunno?  I have many roles in my life so the purpose varies depending on the role.
I recently taught a lesson on kindness.  I mentioned that I was waging a war on ingratitude and the lack of kind in the world.  I may fumble on the skirmishes or the small battles however for the most part I am victorious.  So many take the month of November to express gratitude each day...I think this is lovely...I make it a point to express gratitude for something EVERY day of the year.  I want to experience and share goodwill and kindness towards my fellow humans (and four legged non humans) ALL year not just in December.  Life is Good but not Easy...none of us knows what is in the person's heart standing in front or behind us in line, sitting next to us or cutting us off in traffic (where I might just occasionally lose my goodwill) Surely everyone has some good in them and is deserving of our consideration.   Each of us must stamp out the rampant rudeness we encounter by being part of the solution.  It is never easy to be kind when someone treats us poorly or unfairly.  As we hustle about our business getting busier and busier...Please let us take the time to be kind one to another.  I am not sharing anything "new" here and these only serve as a reminder to myself to be a better person tomorrow than I was today.  As the holidays are approaching know that I hold you in my thoughts and my heart as we all charge forth into the fray!  May it be a time of peace, joy, love and kindness!

"No act of Kindness however small is ever wasted" Aesop

"You is Kind, You is Smart, You is Important"  The Help

"A bit of fragrance always clings to the hand that gives roses"

"I expect to pass through this world but once; any good thing therefore that I can do, or any kindness that I can show to any fellow creature, let me do it now; let me not defer or neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again.” Stephen Grellet

“Be kind to unkind people - they need it the most”  Ashleigh Brilliant

“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.”   Leo Buscaglia

"Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless"  Mother Teresa

I love Mother Teresa...she made a huge impact on the world...a humble, loving and faithful servant of God....

If you are looking for some teaching moments for your little ones or yourself or just some inspiration I have found Random Acts of Kindness Foundations website to be wonderful!  The site offers stories, ideas and free printables.  You can also like them on Facebook and a daily message or two will appear on your newsfeed...always worthwhile. I leave you with a children's song:

I want to be Kind to Everyone

For that is right you see

So I say to myself

Remember this...Kindess begins with Me!

 Peace, Love and Hugs Y'all!

A Compilation of Letters In Which I Have A WEE Bit of a RANT

WARNING:  DISCLAIMER:  We will resume normal sunny thoughts shortly!!!

During the last few days, weeks and months I have been presented with a few annoyances.  I did promise to write lovely letters, notes and cards.  I have done and will continue to do so.  Here are a few notes that will not be sent but do allow me to release a bit of steam to my captive audience...let the ranting begin...

Dear Dish Network,
It has come to my attention that you have discontinued a few channels I enjoy watching.  How can I possibly know how to defend myself during a zombie attack if I cannot watch "The Walking Dead"  This may be critical to my survival.  I will have to visit somebody with that channel and I am kinda sure they don't want me showing up in my pjs and robe.  Please for the survival of my family, restore the critical channels...thank you and bye.

Dear Lady in the Big Ole SUV,
Those giant white lines mean PEDESTRIAN CROSSING...Throwing up your arms and glaring at me doesn't make you right.  I was in the GIANT CROSSING first, get over it already!  My family would be mightily upset if you hurt me or we got into a brawl in the middle of the GIANT PEDESTRIAN CROSSWALK!  Thank you, have a nice day...Watch Out for Pedestrians.

Dear Man in the Big Ole Truck,
I have a middle finger too...I try not to use it because it is rude.  I may be in a small car but I bet mine is faster than yours...
you can't bully me out of the way...I know I am not driving slow because I have a tendency towards speeding myself.  Oh yeah and merging traffic means move the heck over someone wants in to share the highway with you.  Sorry about your penis.

Dear I Am Always a Victim,
Get over yourself already and get a new story.  Everyone that has ever lived and will ever live will have  problems some of them downright tragic.   If you are creating your own personal drama...I don't do drama.  AND I have had my share of problems, tragedy and just plain life...I put a smile on and move FORWARD!

Dear You Only Call When You Need Something,
I am pretty sure if the only time you call is when you need something I am going to be an unwilling participant.  My phone number and address are in fact the same...you can call and say "How are you"  or "Is there anything I can do for you" or how about "I was thinking of you today"   I mention this just in case no one ever taught you the give and take of friendship, family etc., etc. Oh yeah, see above when you are ranting about no offers of help!  Thank you I cannot help you right now because I am watching paint dry.

Dear Job Applicant,
I am fairly certain you are unemployed because you are rude, arrogant and belligerent.  You are not entitled to a job just because you have a) tons of education  b) loads of experience  c) all the credentials that ever were.  Use your manners when talking to the person who will decide whether you even get your foot in the door.  You may wish to consider a bureaucratic job where such characteristics may be valued.  Don't call us we will call you (NOT).

Dear Cell Phone User,
REALLY???  Please for all that is holy, put your phone down when backing out of a parking space.  I really do not want to hear your very personal drama or business while I am shopping or dining.  I really do not want to hear it when I am using the toilet in a public office building etc.  that is just gross! 

Dear Salesman/especially AFLAC,
Please do not stop by on a cold call...I will not be available for five minutes (your 5 and my 5 are completely different)  Three different salespeople in the same week will not make me change my mind it will make me more determined to shut the door permanently!  Get your AFLAC ducks in a row.  Thank you, bye, I will call you if I need anything.  P.S.  Don't hold your breath.

Dear Survey takers/telemarketers
The Answer is still NO!  I appreciate that you are working however if I say I am not interested you will not talk me into changing my mind.  This also applies to all the people calling about the copy machine...don't lie to me...go bother someone else. 

Dear Facebook
I have a love/hate relationship with you.  Sometimes you are a big train wreck...I am repulsed but cannot look away.  Face book users the political ranting and raving is not likely to change any one's opinion or reflect their decision at the polls.  Vote wisely and keep it to yourself! 

Dear Judgmental Person,
You may be at church every time the doors open however I am fairly certain that the Lord would not appreciate your preachy, judgmental, petty attitude (oops, that was me being judgmental nay truthful?)  Your opinion is/was not asked for nor valued.   Every single person is on a different path...your path may not be their path...their progress on that path will not be the same as your progress on the same and/or different path.  Stop it already!  AND I can say crap if I want to... your attitude reminds me of the tattle tellers in grade school....I'M TELLING ON YOU...jeez, grow up already.  When and if you get to Heaven...you may be surprised...

Whew, I feel much better...Back to our regularly scheduled programming of turning sour lemons into sweet lemonade!

Dear John

My dear friend Ruth Ann recently sent me this lovely card as a thank you note.  She and I share a love of similar artists, museums and other fun stuff.  On a recent facebook post Ruth-Ann mentioned that she loved receiving mail and did that make her a dinosaur.  No my friend, I, too love receiving cards, letters, notes and postcards.  It is such a pleasure to open the mailbox and find something special instead of the usual bills and junk mail! 

I participate in Postcrossing whereby I send and receive postcards from all over the world.  I recently sent a card with some fun stamps, stickers and a $1 bill to a young lady in the Ukraine...she responded by sending me several postcards, a Ukrainian bill and a lovely letter asking if I would like to be penfriends...well yes I think I will!

I also participate in Necessary Room's Gift of Jewels...several times a year cards are exchanged around the globe...given a random name you send and receive cards from and to a new friend!  It is such a wonderful experience.  I have maintained a blog/facebook friendship with former participants.  My latest Gift of Jewels was sent to Norway...I received a beautiful card and some beautiful postcards made from Sharon's photos.   She shares my love of heart shaped rocks and clouds.   Her letter to me was so very beautiful and YES, I will respond to her as well.

It has recently come to my attention that rather unconventional objects may be mailed as well...hmm...might I mention that excites me to no end!   Here are some ideas for that venture 13 ounces or less   

Because of all the Happy that has been in the post lately and because my friend Ruth-Ann adores mail...I am paying it forward...who knows it may be YOUR day for some HAPPY MAIL!!!  If you would like to be a victim oops I mean beneficiary of  a joyful surprise and I do not have your address....send me a little note and I will be happy to oblige!!!

Scatter some sunshine of your own...husbands usually enjoy love notes as do children even if they are grown, grandchildren...random strangers enjoy finding a sweet sentiment...go ahead pass a note I won't tell the teacher!

Treasures all Around

 Are you ever on the prowl for wonderful treasures...little trinkets...the mother lode.  Have you noticed that the Mother Lode is often right in front of your very eyes and yet you may be just a bit too busy to see it for what it is...

I love to discover rocks, shell fragments or pieces of wood that are in the form of a Heart...a little love from nature.  My darling husband now looks as well.  However, most of the time...the love from the Universe appears when we are not looking for it.  You can search and search for these tiny little symbols, look away for a moment and Ta Da, the magic appears when you least expect it!



The lens of a camera has opened my eyes to unlimited possibilities...every seemingly normal, ordinary person, place or thing becomes extraordinary when I have a camera in my hand.  Unlimited possibilities...I tell ya! 

I was given the grand tour during a first time visit to a friend's home.  She had so many lovely pieces of furniture and art...all with an interesting tidbit or story about the origin of the piece.  The piece she treasured most was this rocking chair...ordinary in appearance, perhaps outdated for the room as she stated " I know it doesn't go in here but I just can't part with it...it was my first furniture purchase for $18.00 from Haverty's"  She then turned the chair over and the reason it was so highly valued was on the bottom.  The priceless crayon writing and drawings of her small son now a grown man and married.  Treasures of the heart.  I had a grandchild's fully formed hand print that I could not bear to wipe away from the hallway wall.  That hand print stayed there until we had the interior painted last year.  That hand print made me smile every time I walked through the hall.  It often saddens and gives me pause when plundering through an antique/junk/thrift store to find old photographs, albums, postcards, books and letters gathering dust.  The owners long gone...how much can we really hold onto...in the end we give up the tangible and all that we have left are the moments, the memories that we store in our hearts and minds.  Which, incidentally, by the way I am racking up as much as possible!!!

When my children were small we watched a program based on the novella "The Little Prince"  It remains one of my favorites and here is an excerpt that helps express my thoughts about "treasures":

“People where you live," the little prince said, "grow five thousand roses in one garden... yet they don't find what they're looking for...

They don't find it," I answered.

And yet what they're looking for could be found in a single rose, or a little water..."

Of course," I answered.

And the little prince added, "But eyes are blind. You have to look with the heart.”

― Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, The Little Prince

Here's to wishing you many moments and memories to cherish...challenging you to find the extraordinary in the ordinary...the hidden treasures right under your nose and in front of your eyes...look for "them" and the magic will happen...I promise! 

 

This post is dedicated to some of my greatest treasures...friends and family and to those giving me a gentle nudge back to writing.  LYMI...love you, mean it! 

A Joyful Heart Maketh for much Laughter!

It finally occured to me just exactly why the shampoo bottle is so much larger than the bottle of conditioner!  According to the shampoo instructions you are to lather, rinse, repeat...I know this, I just choose not to do it.  With the laundry list of stuff I can't pronounce I am reluctant to use more than I think I need.  It was one of those AHA then WELL DUH moments!  It is always good when we can laugh at ourselves.

Speaking of laughter...I recently saw this photo and quote from an awesome, inspiring woman...

I have to say I agree wholeheartedly!  I laugh often and sometimes inappropriately...if I am upset or nervous I may laugh as an alternative to something worse...please do not think me insensitive.  It has always been much to my dismay that I do not have a "girly" or sweet laugh...no, I am loud and boisterous in my laughter and speech.  People have approached me and said, "I knew it was you...I heard your laugh"  (blush, blush)  They tell me it is a compliment.

Last month, I went on a most fabulous "girl's retreat and as you can guess there was much laughter.  We laughed so much our muscles ached...it sure did feel good.  We had a session of Laughter Yoga...again it really works your muscles and gets oxygen into your lungs!  I am pretty sure if you watch the video below you may actually start laughing!  The body and brain apparently do not know the difference between "real" and forced laughter.  Perhaps a little laughter can turn your day around...I needed some and now I am smiling again.

In a world where there is too much ugliness I prefer to find the humor in any given situation.  Obviously everything cannot be cured by laughter...hugs and kindness help as well.  My true core personality is that of a pessimist, negative thinker...I make a conscientious effort to be positive, to look for the good and to laugh often.  When I cannot or will not do it for myself...I surround myself with my tribe of beautiful, lovely spirited friends. 

Laughter truly is the best medicine.  Go have a laugh, it's on me...won't cost a you anything (well, except maybe a little dignity, which is overrated anyway)

Always in Celebration!

I can think of so many captions for this photo.  For example...the much used what happens ________stays __________.  In our case, what happens at the restaurant stays at the restaurant.   I love the moment this photo captures.  Friends for a long time sharing a secret or two.  We gathered to celebrate this lovely girl's birthday!  Along the way of wining and dining we were evacuated from the restaurant due to some type of kitchen mishap/fire.  Since we are all capable of making the best of the moment...we continued on in true celebratory fashion including a cute couple, waitstaff and a few hunky firemen. 

Life happens.  My husband and I have dodged several bullets where our health is concerned...we are ever vigilant and more determined to eat properly, move more and stress less.  Some of our friends are undergoing extreme health issues and all we can do is support them with good healing thoughts.  Others are experiencing financial difficulties.  Us...the husband and I...we have alternated taking three cars to the shop...thank goodness not all at the same time and some are company cars!  Our tenants completely trashed the house Carl lived in before we married...it will require costly repairs...this too shall pass.  Two friends have had sons rushed to the emergency room on the same day (totally unrelated incidents) one is recovering and the other...still waiting on word of his condition.  We pray for good things.  I think of my friend, eighteen months a widow and still feeling incomplete and as she says "I feel crippled without him"  Another friend seeking a new path since the love of her life has passed.  We lose family, friends, loved ones, our health and yet life continues.  Amidst the sadness and trials there are babies born (lots) save the date cards accumulating and signifying that two people will begin to share their lives together for better or worse...anniversaries and birthdays to celebrate...milestones of every sort.  This life is a testing ground, it is rife with trials and tribulations...it is also full of joy, passion and good will.  We each bear different burdens and we each can and should lift each other.  Paraphrasing something I once read or heard..."never look down on a person unless you are helping him/her up.

  I will adjust to the many changes and challenges around...put my shoulder to the wheel and push on with a happy song in my heart.  It is a beautiful day in the neighborhood...celebrate the moment...hug someone...smile lots...revel in gratitude for the many blessings we all experience !  Peace and Love  Y'all!!!

Tap, Tap...is this thing on?

I thought the above sign appropriately described my conspicuous absence from bloglandia.  I do not know who said it first however I attempt to live by the words "If you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all".  On the outside I have been my usual cheerful, kind self...inside I have been a raging lunatic...that is what the so called "change" will do for you.  Lately I have been telling friends and family, call me and ask...I won't remember or if you don't like my mood...wait for it, it is changing as we speak.  The following cartoon speaks volumes, I  mean volumes...

Mostly I have been living with these alien feelings, however I have been researching possible alternatives to being miserable.  On a funny note...every symptom unequivocally and emphatically stated that all THIRTY FOUR (34)  are a result of declining estrogen...NO SH%*!!!  I have ordered an herbal remedy based on the recommendation of a friend and provided I don't strangle anybody in the meantime...it should be delivered around the 18th of April. I don't think those "people" understand what declining estrogen means and they should probably drive it to my doorstep yesterday! 

Lately, I find myself particularly annoyed with the male population...I am sure declining estrogen is their fault in someway.

My husband sheepishly asks me if I still love him.  And I very gently scream at him..IT IS NOT ABOUT YOU...leave the thermostat alone, get another blanket and don't touch me...poor guy...he is a champ.  And YOU, yes you in the gigantic big truck...get off my a$$...do you really need a truck that takes up 3 parking places, uses enough gas to fuel a third world country to go to your office job...if you are not in heavy construction...WHY???   Oh yeah and get off the phone and drive.

There, there I feel ever so much better now...where was I...oh yeah, attempting to write a blog post.

This week and this morning particularly have just been a Bear!  I am positive that dawn arrives each day with new possibilities...I just have to ride the storm!  Life is Good and this too shall pass!  Anyone else feeling the need to rage against the world, feel free...I will commiserate!  In the meantime, I am going to walk around in the sunshine and gain a more peaceful perspective.  Cheers!

Free Spirited, She Is!

My granddarling Anna will soon be six.  She burst into this world in quite the hurry and has not slowed down since her arrival!  She started kindergarten this year.  My biggest hope is that the system will not steal all her joy, independence and free spirit.  "They" want her to conform...she has a hard time with it.
To say she has her own sense of fashion is an understatement.  My daughter prefers not to battle over clothing, hair and shoes.  As long as she is covered and it is not a safety issue so be it.  The assistant in her classroom asked Anna if her Mother looked at her in the mornings...apparently Anna's choice of shoes did not suit her...she wore her jazz boots...leather bottom, leather tops, neutral color, very comfy not distracting to anyone except the assistant.  Yeah, several of us were ready to string her up.

Anna dances through life...she is on a competition dance team with her first performance in February.  She flew through my kitchen after dance dragging a pink suitcase on wheels.  I told her I loved her pink suitcase and she assures me that it is HOT pink.  She proceeded to do her dance routine on the breakfast bar. 

Give the child some paper and something to write with...she is busy for hours, really!  When this little girl has had enough of the world around her...she takes herself to bed and snuggles in with a stack of books.

Her Mimi (great grandma and my mom) gave her money for Christmas.  Anna decided it was time to re-do what she calls "her" bathroom.  Pink and purple polka dotted shower curtain, pink rug, toothbrush holder, cup and towel set...with a huge Justin Bieber poster (a gift from her brother).  What five year old does this? 

I LOVE this girl.  I love her spirit.  I love being reminded to dance through life...to be creative and to take yourself to bed with good books when the world is too much.  Most of us knew what made us feel good and how to just BE before we let life take over.  Yes...there are jobs, families, myriad responsibilities...in the midst of all of "that" let us not forget to just Be, to explore, to enjoy.  I have a feeling 2012 is going to be an Amazing year...how about you, what do you think?